Why Do Fools Fall In Love

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All articles on this website are the opinions of their respective authors who do not claim or profess to be medical professionals providing medical advice. The more you accept yourself, your past, and your problems, the more you create a window for others to do so. I know this is not an advice column, and not interested in that, but would like to know if there is a deeper psychological definition of love, and what one can expect with regards to longevity of these emotions once they hit?

What sort of job does he have that he can only see you once a week for 16 weeks? But it doesn't i was looking for a partner to had a sex.

Top 10 reasons we fall in love

So, when we find it, we're keen to enjoy the spoils. But what is it about humans that makes us long for love in the first place. It turns out the most inherent reason is also probably the least romantic. Generally speaking, human 'pair bonding' is a drive to keep the species in existence, explains Dr. Nicki Nance, licensed psychotherapist and professor at in Leesburg, Florida in an email interview. Over time, the tendency to find a evolved from relationships built on need to those of enjoyment. Today, falling in love is socially defined. If we didn't have love stories to establish the expectation of falling in love, we might not do it. We would still bond, though, she says, noting that contemporary love is more successful when key components like passion, companionship and commitment are present. How We Love The beginning stages of love, as well as how we pursue and give it throughout our lives, depends a lot on our parents, explains psychologistauthor of We are born as helpless infants, dependent on our parent to fulfill our needs. Love, then, becomes need fulfillment and we seek this same love out as adults, she says in an email interview. According to Palmer, attachment theory plays a big part in the development of love for our parents, because when children are protected and nurtured by available, responsive parents, they have their need for emotional nurturing satisfied. Therefore, they learn to love the parent. What children learn about love from their parents determines how they will love others as adults, she says. If your parents fulfilled your need to be emotionally nurtured by giving you love, you then developed into an adult who has love to give. But if your emotional needs were not nurtured, you did not fully develop and instead became a demanding and anxious adult still seeking the love you missed as a child. That's not to say that people from neglectful or non-loving homes aren't capable of love themselves, but they might need to do some extra work to resolve their issues and get there. The Brain and Body on Love Remember the pair bonding Nance mentioned. Well, it happens for a reason. Our why fall in love is set up to support pair bonding. When people fall in love, they go into a state of limerence, she says, which is a fancy way of saying why fall in love or obsession. This happens because our brains and hormones go wild when faced with a sincere love interest. When we are in the company of the loved one the brain produces more serotonin, which gives a sense of well-being, more endorphins, which are natural pain killers, and more dopamine, which increases pleasure. The good feeling is a reward that makes us want more, Nance explains. Although serotonin levels are variable per person, they can also go down during the head-over-heels process. Joe Bates, psychiatrist and author of The hormonal reactions aren't limited to romantic love, however. Why Some People Find Love More Easily Occasionally, eyes meet across the room and the rest is history. For most of us, however, falling in love is more complicated. Sometimes, the person who wants to be loved is unconsciously getting in their own way. In order to find love, why fall in love must first be able to give love, and we must have this love to give within ourselves. When you feel lovable you project that out and other people notice, Palmer says. In searching for a lover, the person who doesn't feel worthy of love can't present themselves as lovable. This lack of confidence translates into neediness, which repels potential love-interests like bug spray. The more the lonely person seeks love, the more it eludes them. The needier they appear, the less chance there is for someone to enter their life to fulfill those needs, she adds, noting that it's critical to love yourself without being dependent on other people's opinions. Once you're ready to love yourself and are open to outside love, the rest is timing, chemistry and common ground. Although the old saying opposites attract remains prevalent, it's actually false in most cases. The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least, has a mutual depth of love and desire for one another, emailsrelationship expert and author of At the end of the day, love is relative, so don't expect your relationship to look, feel or act the same as past experiences or like those of your friends. Ultimately, we're looking for someone to love us the way we want to be loved. If we don't feel loved, it doesn't matter what is in our mate's heart, says Darné. Teenagers in love Ever looked back on a teenage romance and wondered what you were thinking. Truth is we really don't begin to craft a 'mate selection process' or 'must haves list' until after we've experienced some heartache, betrayal and disappointment, says relationship expert Kevin Darné. Whatever we think makes for an ideal mate at age 17 is not going to be what we want for a mate at age 25 or 35. Psychiatrist and author, Making Your Brain Hum: 112 Weeks to a Smarter You. Relationship Expert and author, My Cat Won't Bark. Associate professor of human services and psychology, Beacon College. Author, Love Demystified: Strategies for a Successful Love Life.

The best thing you can do here is try to stop worrying about this and put all your energy into doing things you love that make you feel happy. But I have never felt attracted to another human in a loving kind of way. Someone has to have that special something that turns us on. Come up with specific qualities that you want in a partner. We've all got specific characteristics that we find attractive and we tend to fall in love with people who have those characteristics. There is one catch though, Pain is effective only up to a certain level. I moved on with a guy thats amazing but now i feel i was infatuated and led him on for all the wrong reasons. Article Summary To fall in love, try your best to let go of your defense mechanisms since part of falling in love is being vulnerable and putting yourself out there. After a lengthy court battle, songwriting credits were awarded to original Teenagers members Herman Santiago and Jimmy Merchant in December 1992. Were you allowed to be fully yourself at all times, and respected for that?